Oh C.J., How I Love You

I have found my new most favorite person in the world aside from my soul mate Shannon from Planet Unicorn (heeeyyyyy)




This is CJ, and he is amazing. I can honestly say I've never seen a person eat a cotton ball on purpose as well as someone run like a retarded seven-year old girl. Maybe it's the girl jeans that prevent him from bending his knee joints. Who knows. It's hilariously stupid anyway.

I guess C.J. is supposed to be "emo", but he's too happy and weird to be emo. Yeah, he's got the black nail polish and wears girl clothes. But he has a penchant for wearing 80s headgear, making stupid faces, and drawing stick figures (which are just awful, by the way. I'm starting to think something's wrong with him. Mild retardation or an underdeveloped right brain perhaps? His drawings look like he stuck a magic marker in his asshole and created a lovely ass mural all over his tiny bedroom.) That's not very emo.

I think my favorite part was the end where the bull dyke gym teacher mom tried to get him to man up with some wrestling lessons, and he says crawling around with men doesn't make him feel more like a man. FACE! And I agree, C.J. If you want your questionably gay son to stop acting like a flaming homo, DON'T MAKE HIM ROLL AROUND HALF NAKED WITH OTHER MEN ON A GYM FLOOR, DUMBASS! JESUS CHRIST!

And he reminds me of Rusty from MadTV, and for that, I love him even more.