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Wednesday, May 14, 2008

My New Obsession

I was so happy when I saw that Sgt. Caroline Mason


was named Dlisted.com's Hot Slut of the Week. I am so proud of her! Sgt. Caroline Mason is my favorite person in the world right now, and she's on my most favorite show, "The First 48". This is a reality show on A&E following homicide detectives in cities all over the country as they try to solve murder cases, and Ms. Caroline is one of the homicide detectives from Memphis that the show follows. She is the cutest thing ever, and is not only a sassy, ghetto fabulous bitch, but a damn good cop who can get a confession from the hardest gangbanger and reduce him to to tears. I LOVE HER!

via Dotspotter

The thing I love most about Sgt. Mason is her ability hunt down a murderer all while looking glam & fabulous. I want to be just like her. I think we would make the best partners ever! And Sugar Bear could be in the K-9 Unit and be our attack dog/mascot. Sugar Bear is really protective of me and will not hesitate to bite your ankles if you try to touch me, my jewelry, or most importantly, my Louis Vuitton. I also think we need a rookie for assistance, preferably a gay one


who is skilled with a Bedazzler


to adorn our walkie-talkies, guns, badges, and our awesome squad car


with sparkles, glitter, and stickers. And he has to love puppies because Sugar Bear needs to be brushed, cuddled, and fed chicken nuggets while Mommy and Auntie Caroline are coercing a confession from the bad guys using only our wit, charm, and occasionally, a phone book and/or a threat of a spike heel on the ol' ball bag. Our rookie should also have an extensive knowledge of the Destiny's Child, Whitney Houston, & Salt-N-Pepa music catalogs as we will need empowering theme music for situations we encounter throughout the day. And she SO has to teach me the gangsta lean:

So, what have I learned from my idol?

Trendy ensembles + fabulous hair + street smartz - sensible shoes = most awesome detective ever!


At May 19, 2008 at 3:03 PM , Blogger The Browns said...

Haha...I don't think I've seen that show, but after reading this post...I wanna. You are so silly Jens...Love you!


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