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Monday, March 31, 2008

More Mugshot Mania

Beavis? Is that you? I miss you and The Great Cornholio. You have enough TP? If you need some, let me know. How's Butthead? Is he still smacking you around? There are places you can go for that, you know.

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O hai, ladies. You knows you want some of this white chocolates. Mmmm hmm. You like my pose? It says, "I'm thingle and ready to mingles. Heeyyy." Wigger jackass. Die.
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These two assholes got caught huffing paint in hardware stores. Their pictures should be printed on paint cans with the warning that huffing paint will give you a receding hairline, a permanent look of stupidity, a spraypaint goatee, and a case of the dead eyes.
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This idiot looks like she just got back from a gang rape or Britney Spears's wedding. Probably the latter. "Jamie Lynn took the last chicken fanger, and I's was hungry y'all."

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You know what I hate about the South and just being southern in general? ASSHOLES LIKE THESE:

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Why anyone would get a played out catch phrase created by some fake-ass hack comedian tattooed anywhere on their body MUCH LESS ON THEIR FUCKING FOREHEAD is beyond me. This motherfucker should be locked up forever for his own good. He is far too dumb to be in society. And keep his son in there with him to avoid further contamination of the gene pool. I completely understand the pro-eugenics movement now.

Nothing enrages me more than ugly chicks with the sassy message t-shirts like the ones below. You're not a "hottie", you never have been, you never, ever, ever will be. Also, the only party you ever attended is the one in your head with your pretend friends and/or your cat's birthday party. I'm telling you all, eugenics is the answer.

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Psssst. Hey! You forgot something. No, your hair looks fine. No, no, no the make-up is okay. Umm, YOU LEFT YOUR HOUSE WITHOUT YOUR SHIRT YOU DUMB WHORE!! Jesus Christ.

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This is what I picture Earl's grandmother looking like in heaven while having a three-way with Thomas Jefferson and Sally Hemings. And blowing Strom Thurmond.

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If my puppy, Twinkie, existed in human form and was a woman, I think he would look like this:

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Just a blank, stupid, open mouth stare with absolutely nothing going on behind those eyes. I just picture a tiny hamster running on a wheel to keep the broken rusty brain gears going. It's just a matter of time before the hamster collapses from a heart attack or the gears pop off and fall to the floor.

I really hate most people.

1 Comments:

At April 2, 2008 at 7:55 AM , Anonymous mo said...

What's up with that first guy's face? It looks like he has serious pillow marks.

Keep the posts coming, Jen. I love reading them.

 

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